Who Are These People?

A couple of things went down today that just made me understand why people live in caves. It just makes sense.

I'm on the air right now at Mana'o. I'm filling in for this guy named Darryl. So dude decides to call me...and he starts giving me shit. "Do you know who this is? You're doing my show. Are you intimidated? Blah, blah, blah."

What the fuck - is in my head, but there's no use in actually saying it. So dude's feeling pretty good about himself. I tell him to hold on because it's the top of the hour and douchebag should know I have to do a break. I come back and he's "seriously man, you've filled in for me before and I love the job you do and blah, blah, blah been in this business for 33 years...blah, blah...I love my listeners...blah...love you. I think the guy was loopy on Ny-Quil. Then he requested Frank Zappa.

{sigh}

This morning we were supposed to have a bunch of people in Pukalani going door-to-door. It was raining all over upcountry (except Pukalani actually) so it was canceled, but I went up there anyway and hit a few houses. So, I do my usual weekly, "Summer, have you been getting out (doing door-to-door) this week?"

"Uh...no...not really."

"OK, let's talk about it later."

So later we meet and start talking. That's when she tells me that going door-to-door makes her physically ill. She feels that it's like an invasion of people's privacy, knocking on their doors that it makes her physically ill. Then she told me that one time, after going out she literally puked.

Wait. That's not the best part. Then she shares this nugget. When she goes door to door, she can't shit for 2 days after. Campaigning constipates her. What on earth am I supposed to do with that? I'm not lying...we now have a serious problem. If we win this, I deserve a fucking medal.